I may not be that original but if you follow me i will love you forever

majortvjunkie:

do I focus on the long arm or shit yourself

majortvjunkie:

do I focus on the long arm or shit yourself

(Source: meladoodle)

slaughteroftheweeaboos:

ppl my age have children what the hell i am a children

(Source: pahaari)

eartheld:

mostly nature

eartheld:

mostly nature

(Source: zoiodlula)

myindiangenocide:

how many chainz could 2 chainz chain if 2 chainz could chain chainz

(Source: stay-at-home-doge)

horcrux-of-the-daleks:

nahshaw:

i hope one day you find somebody who loves you and accepts you no matter how flawed you are just like you do with your favorite fictional character. i hope one day you find somebody who treats you as if you were their favorite fictional character

that is the sweetest thing i have ever read

ulfric-ulfprick:


godotal:

hkirkh:

Confused husky pup

He’s not expressing confusion, he’s tilting his head for better sound localization. While having an ear on each side of the head is good for lateral echolocation, tilting the head so that the ears are offset gives it vertical depth.

doG SCIENCE

ulfric-ulfprick:

godotal:

hkirkh:

Confused husky pup

He’s not expressing confusion, he’s tilting his head for better sound localization. While having an ear on each side of the head is good for lateral echolocation, tilting the head so that the ears are offset gives it vertical depth.

doG SCIENCE

(Source: ghostng)

  • baby: m....m...m
  • mom: mama? ma? mommy?
  • baby: m...m...
  • baby: m..mY ANACONDA DONT

hotboysofficial:

when questions contains the answers to a different problem on a test 

image

(Source: hotboysofficial)

meisterful:

drochfaol:

ryancrobert:

sexybritishllama:

no cough syrup

you are not ‘grape flavoured’

have you ever tasted a grape

you taste like death and the tears of small children

not fucking grape

wow what a surprise another cis-gendered white upper-middle class american male telling someone what they can and cannot identify as. why don’t you go fuck yourself

#i can no longer tell what is and isn’t a joke on tumblr any more

image

ohitsjustkim:

esm398:

jakebumlick:

pika-brew:

pika-brew:

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.

The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note
image

image

and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

image

oMGGGG

image

pizza cares

Pizza understands

pizza spelt its own name wrong

aliveontuesday:

the-chubby-nerd:

Story time:
While taking put the trash at work, I kicked this little bag of pennies. Obviously, since I’m poor, a grabbed them and threw them in my pocket before going on with the rest of my shift.
Close to the end of my shift, I remembered this bag of pennies, so I took it out and counted it out. 7 cents.
My coworker came up and started talking to me while I was doing this, so we chatted, the entire time, this tiny bag of pennies in my hand.
Meanwhile, one of my managers sees me and my coworker talking over this bag, immediately thinks that it’s drugs, yells, and grabs both of us and drags us to the back room.
So, we’re sitting there, me clutching this bag of pennies in my fist, while my manager gets my GM on the phone, yelling about how we were “trading drugs during our shift” and “endangering ourselves and other in the workplace.”
Within 10 minutes, my GM was there, papers in hand to terminate our employment, talking about how they should call the cops. I started crying, cause they wouldn’t let me get a word in edge-wise, my coworker was actually texting his dad the entire time, trying to get them to come fight for him.
It wasn’t until the GM asked what drug they were that they finally let me talk.
So, while I was sobbing, I opened my hand and dropped the bag in my manager’s hand.
And he bursts out laughing.
Within seconds I had explained everything, the pennies, the situation, everything.
I almost got fired and arrested over 7 pennies.

Your manager is a piece of shit.

aliveontuesday:

the-chubby-nerd:

Story time:

While taking put the trash at work, I kicked this little bag of pennies. Obviously, since I’m poor, a grabbed them and threw them in my pocket before going on with the rest of my shift.

Close to the end of my shift, I remembered this bag of pennies, so I took it out and counted it out. 7 cents.

My coworker came up and started talking to me while I was doing this, so we chatted, the entire time, this tiny bag of pennies in my hand.

Meanwhile, one of my managers sees me and my coworker talking over this bag, immediately thinks that it’s drugs, yells, and grabs both of us and drags us to the back room.

So, we’re sitting there, me clutching this bag of pennies in my fist, while my manager gets my GM on the phone, yelling about how we were “trading drugs during our shift” and “endangering ourselves and other in the workplace.”

Within 10 minutes, my GM was there, papers in hand to terminate our employment, talking about how they should call the cops. I started crying, cause they wouldn’t let me get a word in edge-wise, my coworker was actually texting his dad the entire time, trying to get them to come fight for him.

It wasn’t until the GM asked what drug they were that they finally let me talk.

So, while I was sobbing, I opened my hand and dropped the bag in my manager’s hand.

And he bursts out laughing.

Within seconds I had explained everything, the pennies, the situation, everything.

I almost got fired and arrested over 7 pennies.

Your manager is a piece of shit.

frantzfandom:

you ever think about the other sperm you beat out to exist?

the astronauts?

the rappers?

the concert pianists?

but you, the tumblr blogger

you won

(Source: shmurdapunk)

b0yscout:

cybergata:

Elephants walking through a rain forest.

i thought these were bunnies in a field of grass but ok

b0yscout:

cybergata:

Elephants walking through a rain forest.

i thought these were bunnies in a field of grass but ok

lacigreen:

hey-assbutt-its-a-parade:

finndicate:

vjezze:

Amsterdam is turning rainbow for a visit of the Russian president Putin. The council of the city of Amsterdam has decided to hang out the gay pride flag on all council owned buildings and offices, in protest to Russia’s new anti-gay law.

there’s several of these as well;

pretty sure Amsterdam is now the sass capital of the world

this is the actual best thing

lacigreen:

hey-assbutt-its-a-parade:

finndicate:

vjezze:

Amsterdam is turning rainbow for a visit of the Russian president Putin. The council of the city of Amsterdam has decided to hang out the gay pride flag on all council owned buildings and offices, in protest to Russia’s new anti-gay law.

there’s several of these as well;image

pretty sure Amsterdam is now the sass capital of the world

this is the actual best thing